Help & Advice - Transgender and transsexual

The following article was written by a member of the P2SForum in 2007, speaking plainly and directly from her own personal experience of beginning the process of transition.

Ok you think you have gender issues, and you are confused, messed up, quite possibly badly depressed and it is effecting your work. Maybe your the dodgy bloke with shaved legs, having to pass it off as swimming or cycling or 'my partner doesn't like body hair'.

I was in the end, the dodgiest looking character on the planet with drag queen eyebrows and no body hair, nicely groomed nails and past making excuses up, saying I took pride in my grooming. At 5ft 10 and 16 stone I was only kidding myself!

I had suffered from depression, feared losing wife, family, friends, collegues, job, everything and anything, just because I knew I had to address this or end up taking an early dirt nap. I ended up self harming, nothing serious, just cutting in an attempt to make the emotional pain physical and easier to deal with.

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm - A link to the Mind website on self harm and understanding why you do it .

http://www.selfharm.net/injury.html - another site for self harmers with some methods to help stopping it.

Be aware that if you are self harming, it could effect your career and you will most likely have your weapons rights taken away from you. (Not good if you are SAA or RMQ qualified as you won't be allowed to run ranges til you are cleared medically)

Your first step, once you are ready is to approach your medical chain. Arrange an appointment with a Doctor you feel you can trust, most of you will know which Doctors have reputations as being 'Tubigrip, Brufen, Sick Chit' and those who take their time to listen. Do not fear this getting out. You approach your Doctor, explain you have a rather complicated condition and would like a referall to the Psychiatric chain. You can ask for the reason for this to stay off your medical documentation within the Medical Centre, if you fear that one of your mates who works there might get access to your problems. I explained this to my Doctor, who kept it off the record, but spoke directly on the phone to the Counsellor and Psychiatrist directly at Wegberg.

You should then receive an appointment to see the Psychiatrist and receive some counselling from one of the CPNs available locally. You may be given the option on which gender CPN to speak with, I chose a female, purely as I felt more at ease talking to another woman about gender issues, than some big hairy ar5ed bloke, be he a nurse or not.

Be aware that this is not a common condition. Your psychiatrist will have touched on it in medical school, but wont specialize in it, and unless you are very lucky, will not have had any prior experience with Transgender personell. If you can, arm yourself with as much information and links that you can, even take hard copies of the explanations on the previous forum. The best way for these people to help you, its by you to help them understand your condition as well as you can. So educate them, take them some reading material, so by the next appointment , they can be better armed for your next visit.

The most important part of this process is BE YOURSELF! Be honest, be open, don't tell lies or fabricate. They cannot assess you properly if you are not open to them. Yes you might be a big bloke, rugby playing, motorbike riding, all singing all dancing macho man, but this could be you over compensating. Dr Russell Reid wrote a paper on Transsexuality and in one part of the paper covered a stage of 'Hypermasculinity' in which he believe that the trans woman, while trying to fit in, does all the big butch macho things to fit in. The fact that you are TS and in the forces could quite well be part of you trying to bury the girl. Personal experience had me as a squadron and sunday league football player, biker, silly drunk for my first few years in Germany, many will fight. I personally know post ops who as guys married, had kids, now have grandkids and were in trouble with the police for fighting, I even know of one former Chelsea Football Hooligan. There is no blueprint for being a trans woman, so don't think 'I'm a big bloke I will never pass, blend in, survive' if its how you feel you need to at least seek professional help and guidance.

From the Psychiatric chain, they will look to find you care on the NHS chain, be it Charing Cross or your local Gender Specialist. I did my own research, and after talking to some contacts online, decided to go private. The pro's and cons of both sides are covered in a separate item.

Once inside this chain, you always have the option to come out of it, even if you have gone full time. The only point of no return is after you wake up in the hospital, recovering from your Gender Re-assigment Surgery.

Do not fear it getting out, they may have to approach your chain of command, but realistically, only if they feel you are a danger to yourself or others. They have a duty of care, but also you have rights of protection too. They cannot just out you to all and sundry and legally this is medical in confidence. Anything getting out without your permission leaves them without a leg to stand on. This is a very private and sensitive condition and you need to know that you have control over this.

The AMS are very professional , and with cases like this are very careful about things getting out. On arrival to my new unit, while under the care of gender specialists, on hormones, but not yet living in the female role, my medical documentation was given the same protection as the Commanding Officers, meaning it was kept under control of the Practice Manager and only those who really needed to, had access to my notes. Even on the PC they were barred to those who didn't need to see the more sensitive information. They will protect you so try not to worry too much.