SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT by Lt
Cdr Craig JONES RN
Officer-in-Charge, Communications Warfare Training
Unit, HMS COLLINGWOOD, 2003
The introduction of the Armed Forces Code
of Social Conduct (AFCSC) formalised in policy a series of accepted
principles for the way in which Service personnel work and live together
ashore
and afloat. Its headmarks and standards are those which have been commonly
developed by units throughout the Naval Service, from shared experience
and a commitment to achieving good practice. As a result, for most,
the Code has had limited effect on them as individuals and has produced
little
visible change – unless like me you are gay.
Many might consider
that the removal of the ban on gays in the Armed Forces might have
brought relief, well at the very least it offered fresh
security. But for the majority of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
(LGBT) personnel the idea of ‘coming out’ was not easy
to entertain. In the years that have followed an increasing number
of individuals
have felt able to be open about their sexuality. The challenges of
stepping from the closet seem a lifetime away for me, however for
others it is
still a real dilemma, peppered with hopes, fears and a good measure
of anxiety. How will you react when a colleague ‘comes out’ in
your unit? For those who don’t have gay or lesbian family or
friends and may have served for a good few years, it is not always
easy to develop
an appreciation of their real concern about being ostracised, ridiculed
or even worse. I am hesitant to make a business case for a strand
of our inclusive diversity policy based upon ‘gay or gap’ although
for the most sceptical it’s a good place to start. But I think
it would be more constructive to cast a little light into the darkness
by looking at why people ‘come out’ and how we can help
to make individuals who face these challenges feel part of the team.
The
reasons that a gay man or lesbian chooses to ‘come out’ are
entirely individual, yet there are common threads which I will focus
on from my personal experience.
The tapping teleprinters churning
out the AFCSC signal on 10th January 2000 released me from the
wearying requirement to guard the detail
of my life for fear of repercussion. But amidst this feeling of
release I was presented with the dilemma of whether to ‘carpe
diem’ -
or not! Secrecy and a lack of openness goes against the grain of
the enduring friendships we enjoy in Service life and I had never
been
comfortable with maintaining economy of truth. The AFCSC protects
our private lives
where it is appropriate to do so, however the reality is that we
know a great deal more about our colleagues than civilians because
we invariably
choose to be more open. The fact that many gay men and lesbians
are mostly not open about their sexuality invariably reflects sensible
caution rather
than an inherent desire for privacy.
For my own part I decided
that being ‘out’ would allow my
Ship's company to consider a fresh take on what "difference" was
all about. Prejudice is not a steady steaming state; invariably
it is nobody’s fault, but is borne of an ignorance which
can only be dispelled by being receptive to being informed – and
being informed. I hoped for the former and intended to deliver
the latter.
‘Coming out’ to Service friends was far less a concern for me than ‘coming
out’ in my unit. Few of my old friends were surprised (to
my slight irritation) and none were particularly bothered. It
seemed easier
for
them to divorce pre-conceptions about gay people when weighed
against somebody they knew well. But with the benefit of only
4 weeks in a
new appointment, the Wardroom and Ship's company of HMS FEARLESS
seemed a
daunting challenge. It did cross my mind that if I, as an officer
with more than just a couple of years experience of life in the
Naval Service,
felt apprehensive how much more so would someone younger and
less experienced. As it happens, after a brief flurry of interest,
I received a great
deal of understanding and acceptance. In the weeks and months
that followed
I became less different with each day that passed. For some accepting
a gay man in the Ship's company took days, for others it took
longer to find common ground, but the AFCSC allows for diverse
viewpoints
as long as we treat each other respectfully. The key is that
we should all
afford each other common decency.
As a Naval Service we cannot afford to make moral judgements
about the private lives of individuals who serve with loyalty
and dedication,
sometimes
in the most challenging of personal circumstances. We are all
individuals and are all different, be that in race, colour,
creed, gender,
sexual orientation etc. The challenge lies in all of us ensuring
that we
create an inclusive work environment where every member of
the team feels valued
for his or her unique contribution; in keeping an open mind,
and developing an understanding through life long learning.
The foundations
of our team
effort rest upon our ability to work together, mixing a unique
blend of diverse backgrounds with the common standards of the
Naval Service.
This story was posted on the 2SL website
on the Defence Intranet and is reproduced here with the author's kind
permission. View another article by Lt Cdr Jones (follow
this link) which
appeared in the Jun 05 Focus magazine.
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