Help & Advice - Coming out

The following post was contributed by a guest to the P2Sforum; we have included it in this section as a reminder that coming out often has a wider impact on families and that those other people should not be forgotten.

Hi, I realise that there will be a few people who may think that I shouldn't post what I'm about to post here, but if it helps prevent another family going through what my family currently are, then I know I'll have made the right decision, and there really isn't anywhere else I could find. Fitlads and Gaydar seemed less appropriate!!

After being together for almost 10 years and 2 children later, my husband (he's in the forces) recently announced that he is gay and that our marriage will inevitably end.

So why am I posting this here?

Because, I know that my husband is not the only person who has doubted his sexuality and taken a long time to come to terms with who he really is. What I also want, is for some good to come out of the hell that I'm currently going through and hopefully stop someone from making the same mistakes my husband has made.

Please don't try to cover up who you are, he told me last year that he was bisexual but wanted to stay with me as it was me he loved and wanted to be with.

We then got through a lengthy deployment and life was good as far as I knew until just a few weeks ago, when he finally admitted to both himself and myself that he was gay and could longer about who and what he really was.

When I look at our children, I don't regret being with him, but I do regret being used to hide his true sexuality and feel that our life together has been based on a lie and all trust has now gone.
He is still my best friend and I his, and despite everything we have been through recently, we still love each other. I am aware that his love for me will be different than the love I have for him but we want to support one another through this and remain very good friends.

I am now looking towards an uncertain future as I know that I will end up a single parent of two very young children, something I never envisaged would happen when we got married and made the decision to have a family. I know my husband will support the children and I, but I will lose the man that I love and had hoped to spend the rest of my life with.

So, if there is anyone reading this who is in a similar situation, please don't hide in a marriage. In the end, it will hurt both of you and the hurt will be greater, the longer you stay together.
My husband had several opportunities to deal with his sexuality before we were even married, but was in denial for a long time.

Apologies again for posting this here but as I said earlier, if I can make even one person, look at their own life and think about what they are doing, then I won't regret making this post.