Sunday, February 05, 2012
   
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Coming out

Coming out can be an extremely traumatic time for both the individual and families. This section acts as a signpost to the other resources which are available on the Proud2Serve website and within P2Sforum which will help you on your journey.

Personal stories

We have a selection of personal accounts of coming out, written by serving personnel, which may help you. These include an article called "My Story" by POPT Mark PROBEE. The short accounts are available at coming out stories from the military. Also, visit the "interviews with the serving" section where many people include how they came out when talking about their career.

Talking to fellow service personnel

There is a section on the P2Sforum for help and advice; this includes threads specifically for advice on coming out.

Thoughts and suggestions

Some suggestions about whether to, and how to, come out to family and colleagues. Are you sure that you are gay, how should you approach telling other people?

Hints and tips

A list of around 15 tips for the day when you chose to tell people.

Websites and resources

Have you checked the links section to see which sites and resources are listed on the advice and help page? You might also want to have a look at or search the P2SForum for similar requests and responses from other people.

Books about coming out

Have a look at the selection of books put together with the help of our members, who have either personally used them to help while coming out, or have heard good things about them from friends.

Coming out is often about more than one person

Coming out can be an emotional time and often has a wider impact on families. Read an account by a Wife and a Mother about how her husband coming out has affected her.

When should I come out?

The average age at which people come out has fallen over the last 40 years, according to gay rights group, Stonewall. They received over 1500 responses to a poll in Nov 2010 which found that the average age of coming out for over-60s was 37; for people in their 30s it was 21; and for those now aged 18-24 was 17. Although the figures do not take into account those who have not yet come out, Stonewall said gay people nowadays had the confidence to come out earlier.

Coming Out Stories from the Military

Help & Advice - Coming out

The exerpts below are all real-world coming out stories by gay and lesbian service personnel from the Royal Navy, Royal Marines, British Army, Royal Air Force and their reserves.

"I've come out twice now since I've been in (only a year). Once on Basic Training and once when i got here to my first proper post. Both times i told one person and it slowly filtered round. I think this is probably the easiest and best way of doing it. I really didnt feel i should have to stand up and tell some people, like it was an issue. I just slipped it into conversation and let them pick up on it."

Read more: Coming Out Stories from the Military

 

Coming Out - Hints and Tips

Help & Advice - Coming out

Remember - no two coming out experiences are ever the same, so that this is not so much a checklist, more a list of hints and tips you might want to consider.

Read more: Coming Out - Hints and Tips

   

Coming Out - Useful Books

Help & Advice - Coming out

Have a look at the selection of books below, put together with the help of our members, who have either personally used them to help while coming out, or have heard good things about them from friends.

Read more: Coming Out - Useful Books

 

Coming Out - Thoughts and Suggestions

Help & Advice - Coming out

Am I gay?

If you're asking questions about your sexuality, then you're probably not ready to give yourself a label, or let other people give you a label. Working it out for yourself is a journey, and it takes time.

Read more: Coming Out - Thoughts and Suggestions

   

Coming out - A Wife and Mother's View

Help & Advice - Coming out

The following post was contributed by a guest to the P2Sforum; we have included it in this section as a reminder that coming out often has a wider impact on families and that those other people should not be forgotten.

Hi, I realise that there will be a few people who may think that I shouldn't post what I'm about to post here, but if it helps prevent another family going through what my family currently are, then I know I'll have made the right decision, and there really isn't anywhere else I could find. Fitlads and Gaydar seemed less appropriate!!

Read more: Coming out - A Wife and Mother's View